Is it Me?
by Briar Mercury
Summary: Steven knew the Gems were hiding their feelings about him. When he did find out... he wished he hadn't. WARNING: This story contains some dark themes.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

 **This is my first fanfic. Please enjoy. :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe**

One afternoon Steven was sitting in front of the T.V. He was trying to find something to watch but there was nothing on. While he was channel surfing he began to think about the time he and the Crystal Gems found his mother's scabbard and how it affected Pearl. Then he remembered how Pearl reacted when he told them about Lion and how Pearl had her breakdown. Although he tries not to think about it he still couldn't shake that feeling that _maybe_ the crystal gems, **especially** Pearl, may blame him for his mother not being around.

Then he thought of a song he once heard from this guy named Rick something. It was called "Cry for Help" and he kept thinking that it kind of reflected on how he feels at times. The line that stands out the most was "and when she goes _I_ feel to blame." There was times when Steven wondered what the Gems ( _mainly Pearl_ ) really think of him. Why do they hide their feelings? Why can't they cry for help?

Soon Steven began to feel tired and saw the sun was setting.

"I guess I'll get ready for bed now," he said to himself. So he put his pajamas on and lied down and got in the covers. He went to sleep, but unfortunately he still couldn't get that awful feeling he's going through right now.

 **So this was just a little introduction before we get to the real story. Sorry if it seems rather short. The song mentioned here is called "Cry for Help" by Rick Astley. If you don't know who he is then look at his well known song called "Never Gonna Give You Up." ;)**

 **Anyways thanks for reading it and see you soon.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The next morning, Steven got ready like any other day. Once he finished getting dress and made himself breakfast, he thought that there would be something on T.V. right now. So he watched Crying Breakfast Friends while eating his cereal.

An hour later Steven finished his cereal and kept watching T.V. until he heard the temple door open. Steven looked to see who came out... it was Pearl.

"Good morning Steven," she said as she walked up to Steven's room.

"Morning Pearl," he replied and then looked at the T.V. again. Pearl then came and sat down next to Steven.

"Garnet said we're going on a mission later," she said, "and she also said you can come with us if you want to."

Steven wasn't really in the mood to go on a mission today. Plus he already planned to go out with Connie and hang out.

"Sorry but I already have plans today, Connie and I are going to have a picnic at the lighthouse," he said.

"Oh, ok then," Pearl said a little disappointed, "well I better get ready and you two enjoy yourselves," she then got up and was about to leave when Steven said -

"Pearl -" Pearl stopped and then turned to face the young Crystal Gem, "can I ask you a question?" He continued.

"What is it?" she asked.

Steven hesitated for a moment then said- "how much do you miss her?" Pearl knew who he was talking about but she didn't want to deal with it at the moment.

"Um... ,", Pearl said with a little sweat began to show, "I don't think I want to talk about this right now Steven." Steven knew she was avoiding the question.

"But -" Steven was about to continue but noticed the clock. "Oh, I got to go now." Steven got up and walked to the door while Pearl followed him down. Before Steven opened the door he looked at Pearl and then said with a weak smile, "Good luck on the mission."

"Thanks Steven and have fun with Connie." Pearl replied with a weak smile as well.

"I will," and with that Steven left the house. He was halfway down when Steven decided to check back to see what was happening in the house. So he slowly sneaked back up and looked through the window and looked inside. He saw Pearl looking up at something. Steven knew she was looking at the portrait of his mother. He then saw a small tear come down Pearl's face and then she sighed and walked back to the temple door. Steven sighed to himself and walked away and continued his walk to meet Connie. It really hurts seeing his family being in pain. He didn't know what to do. He decided to keep a straight face when he met up Connie but he couldn't get something out of his head. _Is it me?_

 **So ya, that's the end of that chapter. Don't worry there is more to come. Hope you are enjoyed and have a nice day. Bye. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Later that day, Steven returned from the picnic. He did have a splendid time, it actually almost made him forgot what he was depressed about. Sadly it all came back to him when he got close to home. He got a sick feeling in his stomach the closer he got to the house. Soon he made it to the front door and when he opened it he saw Amethyst with her head in the refrigerator.

"Hey Amethyst," Steven said. The purple gem came out with her hands holding a pile of food and put it on the counter.

"Sup Steven," she said all cheerful, "so how was that picnic you keep talking about?" While she was talking, she put all the food and put it into some kind of mush or something.

"It was fine, I had a wonderful time," he was little disgusted on how Amethyst was eating the mess like a dog. The way she ate it kind of got it everywhere. Steven started to walk back to his room but something stopped him. He then walked back to the counter. Then he said-

"Amethyst."

"Ya," she replied, still eating.

"How much do you miss my Mom?" At that moment Amethyst stopped eating in an instant and raised her head away from the bowl.

"Why do you ask that," she said in an uneasy voice.

"I just want to know," Steven replied.

Amethyst didn't know how to answer the question. It was true, she did miss Rose a lot. She was the one that took her in when there was no one. It was her who made Amethyst feel like she wasn't a mistake. No one knows about this, but sometimes when she sees that photo of Rose in her room, (the one from So Many Birthdays) she would just sit in front of it and just stare at it. There were times when she would shed a tear and remember the good old days with Rose.

"Amethyst."

"Huh," she said.

"I'm waiting for you to answer my question."

"Oh ya, I guess I zoned out for a sec. Uh... what was the question again?" she said.

"How much do you miss my Mom?" he replied.

Amethyst hesitated and then she said, " Oh, I guess I do miss her and all, but I'm alright."

"Are you sure?" Steven questioned. He began to regret asking this.

"I'm sure," Amethyst said in a reassuring voice.

"Alright," Steven paused for a second then he said, "It's just that, you all seem to miss her a lot and I can't seem to understand because I never met her. What I do know is that she must really care for you all. She was there when you needed her and she listened to what you had to say." Steven didn't notice because he was looking at the portrait of Rose Quartz, but right behind him was Amethyst trying to restrain herself from crying. Unfortunately, she couldn't hold it in. Before Steven could look at her again Amethyst had already got up ran off.

Before Steven could stop her, Amethyst had all ready left and went through the temple door leaving her mush behind. This left Steven with not only a mess to clean up but more questions than answers. Why did she leave in a hurry? Did he do something wrong? Steven didn't feel like dealing with the mess right now. He was exhausted. He then walked back to his room and stayed there for the rest of the day.

 **In Amethyst's Room...**

Amethyst ran through the clutter of her room. There was still tears in her eyes. She finally came to the photo that was still where Pearl hung it. She stared at it, motionless. She looked at Rose, she looked fearless, like nothing was happening around her, like a true leader. Amethyst just sat down and then began to sob. The most caring and loving gem in the universe was gone. Although sometimes she tries to move on, there were times it was impossible.

 **Well that escalated quickly. :/**

 **I feel that I could have expanded the conversation a little more but this was the best I could do. So I apologize for that. So anyways, thank you guys for reading and I'll see you next time. Bye :)**

 **Also the next chapter may take a little longer to make, so please bear with me.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next day, Steven hoped today would be less depressing. After the incident with Pearl and Amethyst he really needed a break from all this. To clear his mind, he decided to go outside in the front porch and watch the ocean move up and down the shore. It helped a little. He just stood there listening to the calming sounds of the waves. While he was listening, he began to think about what had happened lately.

 _'I wonder...'_ he thought to himself. But before he could finish what he was thinking, he heard the warp pad activate. Once he heard it he immediately ran back inside to see who just arrived. It was Garnet. She had a bubbled gem in her hand.

"Oh, hey Garnet," he said.

"Good morning to you Steven," she replied. Steven looked at the bubbled gem, and the way Garnet looked all scrunched up Steven didn't want to ask about what happened. " So how was your morning Steven," she continued.

"It was fine, but I haven't seen Pearl or Amethyst all morning and I'm kind of worried." Steven had a funny feeling that he knew why.

"I'm sure they're just messing around in their rooms. Don't worry Steven." she began to walk to the temple door but Steven stopped her.

"Garnet," Garnet stopped and turned around. Steven **really** didn't want to ask Garnet his question. But she was the only gem who could at least give him an answer. "Uh, Garnet, this question has been bugging me a while now and I just have to get it out of my chest."

"What is it Steven. You can tell me anything," as she said that she walked to Steven and kneeled down to meet closer to eye level.

Steven took a deep breath. "How much do you miss my Mom?" Silents fell over the house. "Garnet?" he said but Garnet remained in a silent, stoic figurine. She looked heartbroken. Steven was about repeat her name but Garnet stood up and began to walk away.

"Garnet... GARNET!" but Garnet walked through the temple door leaving Steven abashed. He ran up to the door. He looked at the door. Then he kicked the door out of frustration. "What is up with everyone!" he shouted. He couldn't believe it. Everyone of the Crystal Gems wouldn't answer his question.

WHY?!

Steven went back to his room and went into a huge fit. He went to his bed and yanked the sheets off the bed. Then went to his shelves and wiped all the stuff off it. Next he went to his nightstand and tipped it over. He was so angry he ran up to the T.V. and he kicked it causing it to shatter. After he broke the T.V. he stood there in front of it, then he broke down and balled his eyes while lying on the ground. About an hour later Steven calm down a bit and walked outside. He went down to the beach and sat in the sand. All he thought was how the gems reacted to his question. Do they really miss her that much? Was he just a huge reminder of her? Do they wish that he's not around them? All these question swirled in his head. He didn't know what to do now. After a while Steven got up and then walk back to the house. He didn't know why.

"I wonder..." On the way up he thought of what he was thinking earlier before Garnet came.

 _'To be, or not to be, that is the question.'_ he thought.

 **Sorry it took a little bit longer than usual, I was tricky to figure out how to execute this chapter. So anyways thanks for stopping by and thanks for the support your all giving me and don't worry, there is more to come of this tragic tale. Bye. :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The days past, Steven was more distant from the gems. Every time they would talk to him he just give small answers like " _Fine_ ", " _Sure_ ", or " _No Thanks_." Sometimes he would go on missions but they just weren't the same as they used to be. Steven used to have fun going on missions but now it just feels awkward and unsettling. The gems themselves felt the same way. It's wasn't until a week later when it was starting affect Steven really badly. He was no longer that playful, young boy that they knew. He was now like a silent, soulless, marionette. It began to be noticeable. Pearl began to worry. She went into Steven's room where he was staring at the shattered T.V. he broke.

"Steven," she said nervously.

"Yes Pearl," he relied as if he was brainwashed or something.

"A...are you ok," she asked. Steven responded, "Ya, I'm alright." Pearl walked a little closer and sat down next to him. Steven's eyes remained fixed on the T.V.

"It just that you've been acting differently lately." Pearl went on. "And you seem to be drifting away from us; are you sure there's nothing bothering you?" Steven wanted to tell Pearl what was wrong, but he didn't want to make things worse.

"There is nothing wrong Pearl. I'm just going through some kind of phase, or something. It's a human thing, you wouldn't understand." Steven said. This time he turned to make eye contact.

"Um... okay then, but if you want to talk about anything, you can talk to me or Garnet or Amethyst," she said while her hand was going through Steven's curly hair.

"I will," he replied, "Can I go outside for a while?"

"Of course you can," Pearl answered. Steven then got up and walked to the door. "Be back soon."

"Don't worry!" Steven called out as he walked outside the door.

Steven walked aimlessly around Beach City. He didn't have a clear destination, he just wanted to get of the house for a while. As he walked, he watch everyone having a wonderful day. People were smiling, laughing, and having fun. As he watch them Steven felt more depressed. He needed to talk to someone except the gems. Then an idea suddenly came to him.

 _'I know who to talk to. Why haven't thought of him before?'_ he thought. He then ran off feeling a little better.

 _ **At the Car Wash**_

At the Car Wash, Greg Universe had no idea what his son is going through. He actually hadn't seen him in a long time. He was debating whether he should go see him or just let him do his Gem stuff. He never really liked the idea of a young child getting involved in these things. It always irked him. What if he gets horribly injured, or worst?

 _'That's it, I'm coming to see my son'_ he thought. He was about to go in his van until he saw someone in the distance. At first he couldn't see properly but then it came clear on who was coming.

"Steven!" he shouted as Steven jumped into his arms. "It's been a while, so how have you been doing lately?"

"It's been... _okay_ I guess?" he responded.

"What do you mean? Is everything alright?" Greg questioned. Steven knew he couldn't dawdle about the situation.

"It's been awful," he said in a despair voice. They sat down in the van and he then began to tell his father the struggle he was doing through. He told him about his situation and how the Gems reacted to his question, and as the story went on Greg couldn't believe that a kid at his age is going through such a turmoil.

"I just don't know what to do. Do you have any advice?" Steven asked has he finished his story.

"Oh my... have you... tried to talk to them about how you feel?" he said after Steven finished his story.

"N-No, but if I try to do that I might make things even worst," said Steven.

"But you don't know that. I think that if you tell the Gems about how you feel then you would feel so much better." Greg replied.

"How do you know that?" Steven questioned.

"Well," he started," Even though you may feel like they don't want, you have to remember about the good times you spent with them. Ya, they miss Rose and I do to, but I'm glad she brought you into this world. Maybe they just need some reassuring that it's ok to mourn but it better to move on and accept what they have. And they have a joyful, happy-go-lucky child."

"Thanks Dad," he said in gratitude.

"Aw, don't mention it. I'm just glad I had a talk with my favorite son."

"Dad, I'm your only son," he laughed as Greg grabbed him and messed up his hair. He soon let Steven go and then stepped outside the van.

"Thanks Dad. Know I'm going to try to make things right." he said confidently.

"That's the spirit Steven, good luck." They hugged for one last time and Steven ran back to the house as fast as he could. Greg watched him go into the sunset.

 _'You've done good Greg, you've done good,'_ he thought to himself.

 _ **Back at the House**_

By the time Steven reached the house, it was almost dark. He went up the stair and eventually made it to the top. He was about to open the door when he heard the Gems inside. He then heard _-"So, what are we going to do about Steven."_ It sounded like it came with Amethyst. Steven was going to barge in but he was curious on what they were talking about. He looked through the window where he saw Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl in the living room. Pearl was on the couch, Amethyst was on the coffee table, and Garnet was standing near the fireplace. Then he heard Garnet spoke next.

"I don't know what were going to do but one thing's for sure, Steven is acting strangely."

"Why is he asking us how much we miss Rose?" Amethyst replied.

"I don't know why," said Garnet in a mundane voice. Then there was silence. Steven just hid outside peeking through the window; he was about to get up when Amethyst broke the silence.

"How much you miss her?" she asked. There was more silence once Amethyst said that. "I miss her... a lot," she continued with a small tear coming down her face.

"I miss her to," Garnet said wiping a tear from under her shades. As for Pearl, tears were streaming down her face. But then, out of nowhere, Pearl screamed out -

 _"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!"_

This took everyone by surprise, Steven especially. Pearl was just a gigantic wreck.

"Pearl, calm down," Garnet said, trying to calm her down.

"I WILL NOT!" she said, still shrieking. "You know how much I miss Rose. She was there when I needed her. When I was sad, happy, or sometimes for no reason."

"Pearl!" Garnet yelled.

"Now she is gone, and is now is replaced and now we are Stuck WITH THAT..."

"STEVEN!" Garnet yelled out. They all looked over to the window to see Steven in tears. The idea about talking to the Gems left his mind in a flash. At that moment Steven quickly bolted off down the stairs. The Gems could not be anymore guilty and shocked. They quickly ran outside to find Steven walking away from the house. They soon caught up to him.

"Hey bud, slow down for a sec," Amethyst said trying lighten the mood.

"Leave me alone," Steven replied. He didn't stop. He just kept walking, not facing them.

"Please Steven we need to talk to you," said Garnet.

"Leave me alone!" Steven said more forcefully.

"Come on Steven, I didn't mean what I just said," Pearl got a little closer to Steven. She was trying to sound reassuring. "Now let's just stop for a minute and talk it -" She placed her hand on Steven's shoulder but she didn't finish what she was going to say.

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!" Steven shouted as he swung his arm, causing it to summon his shield. And then striking Pearl with it causing her to fall on the ground.

Steven just stood there with tears on his face. He was looking at the Gems, and they were looking at him. He then got rid of his shield and ran off as fast as he could.

This left the Gems, devastated and heartbroken. Not only did lost their common sense. But lost the boy that gave them a purpose.

 **Oh lord... Things just got worse.**

 **Anyways, sorry that this chapter took a little longer than usual. This is currently the longest chapter so it took away. Also thank you to the people who followed and favorited this because it really means a lot to me. So thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next chapter. Bye. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 **By the end of the chapter, you will see what I have in store for you next time. ;)**

After Steven left the Car Wash easier that day, Greg was thinking about how things are going on with Steven and his problem. He hates it when his son has so much stress to carry on his shoulders. He is just a kid for peat sakes. He knows his destiny is to protect the world like his mother when he grows up, but come on. Not to mention he's also thinking that the Gems themselves blame him for his mother not being around. He couldn't believe he could even think such a thing. He always thought that the Gems blame him for Rose not being around, not Steven.

 _'I wonder Steven sorted things out by now. Maybe I should go check up on him.'_ he thought . Then he climbed into his van and he set off. As he drove, he couldn't shake off a funny feeling that something is not right. He didn't know why, he just felt like it. He decided shook it off and continued on.

Soon he made it to the house and that feeling was back. It was strange. It was more noticeable then before. By the time he made it to the first step up, he almost didn't want to go up. But he did anyways. The feeling got stronger and stronger at every step. When he made it to the top, he immediately heard -

"What have I done!" It sounded like Pearl.

"What have you done?!" That time it was Amethyst.

"Stop talking you two and let's talk about this!" Now it was Garnet.

That's it, he's going to see what was going on. He barged in, all three of them looked at him surprised. Greg could see the expressions on their faces. Garnet had a rather shocked and confused look. Amethyst had a sad, and also angry look in her eyes. And Pearl, oh man, she was a train wreck. She was tears in her eyes and shown guilt on her face.

"Um... what's going on? Where's Steven?" Greg asked. He was starting to get worried.

"Why don't you tell him **PEARL**!" Amethyst blurted out. A small tear streamed down her cheek.

"Tell me what? What's going on here?" Greg said. He was beginning to get agitated. Would they please just spit it out? Then Garnet stepped forward and said-

"I think Steven will not be coming back to us."

"What do you mean he's not coming back! What happened!" Greg shouted, he couldn't believe on what he just heard.

"IT"S ALL MY FAULT!" Pearl yelled out, tears we're just gushing from her eyes.

"You got that right!" snapped Amethyst.

"Hey, you felt the same way!" Pearl replied sharply.

"Knock it off you two!" reprimanded Garnet.

"WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON!" It came from Greg. This made the whole house silent. After what seemed to be hours, Garnet told Greg the whole story. By the time they finished, Greg was just stunned by this. Pearl continued to ball her eyes, claiming it was her fault. Amethyst was hiding her face so one would see her cry. Even Garnet was shedding a tear beneath her shades. This left Greg in a state of panic. Where did Steven go? Is he coming back? Did the Gems really felt this way? All these questions we're spiraling in his mind.

 **Back with Steven**

Far away from the house, Steven was still running. He was still crying as well. He never felt this depressed before. His three caretakers, the ones that treated him like a brother, or maybe even a son, had just stabbed him right in the back. He didn't know if it can be healed as well. He just continue to run. He didn't know where to go, as long it was as far from his old home. Eventually he decided to go to the same cliff he and Ronaldo had that talk after Peridot's ship came down.( _Full Disclosure_ ) He couldn't explain why he chose that place, but it's where he goes to think to himself.

When he finally reached the top of the hill, he then collapsed on the ground and just cried some more. After a while, the crying stopped but he still lied on the ground, motionless.

 _'It was me,'_ he kept thinking to himself. _'It's my fault.'_ He continued to lie there, not caring anymore. He finally raised his head up to look at the view. The lights in the town shown from down below. He felt nothing. He looked to the left to see the ocean. It was going in and out of the shore. He heard the waves crash on the cliff below him. He still felt nothing. Then he looked to the right; something caught his eye. It was shining a little bit in the moonlight. He then crawl over to see it up close. It wasn't too far from where he was at. When he got to it, he knew what it was.

The object was a sharp, average sized _**knife**_. He looked down at it. In that moment, a thought came to his head.

 _'To be, or not to be, that is the question.'_ he thought.

 **That's right. I'm going there. XD**

 **If you don't know what's happening, then look up what "To be, or not to be" actually means.**

 **See you in the next chapter. Bye. :)**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

What Steven didn't know was that back at his real home, his family are going to probably have the most upfront talk they ever had since they met each other. At the house, all four of them we're in despair. The atmosphere was just depressing. It was full of sadness, guilt, and a little anger as well. No one said anything. It was quiet. The only sounds that were heard was the small cry from a gem that who was on the floor hugging her legs close to her chest. The other two was still standing. One gem just hid behind her long, somewhat purple hair hoping no one can see her tears flow from her eyes. The last gem just ducked her head as tears we're starting to slip through her shades. But someone else was with them. He's not a gem, but human, and he too was forlorn. Of course the reason of their depression was that the kid that gave them all a purpose had just found out something he shouldn't. It was still quiet until one of them broke the silence.

"Is this true?" Everyone looked up to see who was talking. It was Greg. "Is it true?" he repeated more forcefully.

"What do you mean?" asked Garnet.

"You know what I mean," said Greg. All the gems just stared at him. They knew what he meant but didn't know how to reply.

"Pearl should know," Amethyst said under her breath. She was hoping no one heard that. But of course they heard it.

"Hey, look who's talking!" Pearl snapped back.

"Well at least I played with him more when he was young while you moped in your room!" Amethyst replied sharply.

"Ya, but you didn't want to because it would hurt too much!"

"Would you two please be quiet!" Garnet yelled out.

"And what about you, when he was born you almost didn't want to see him," Amethyst blurted out as Pearl glared at her.

" I got over it because I knew Rose did it for a good reason," Garnet protested.

"What good reason was that," Pearl questioned.

"I'm not sure but I'm sure she had good intentions." answered Garnet.

"What good intentions would involve Rose giving up her physical form and leave us to care..." Pearl stopped dead in her words after realizing what she was going to say.

"See, there you go again," Amethyst said in annoyance.

"Hey, you shut up," retaliated Pearl.

This caused Pearl and Amethyst to argue once more. Garnet tried to stop them but to no avail. This left Greg in a loss for words. He knew the Gems weren't a hundred percent when Rose decided to give up her physical form but he didn't know it was this bad. Looking at them made him realize how much Rose meant to them. He began to think back to when he first met the Gems and how when they saw him they didn't want anything to do with him at least until Rose came along and stopped them. Even after he stayed in Beach City, the more he spent time with Rose, he could feel the three of them just thinking less of him. Then when the time came, he could see the hurt on their faces and he still noticed it after all this time. Steven probably noticed it as well and blamed it on himself. With all these negative vibes happening he couldn't blame Steven for running off. The Gems continued to argue with each other and it appeared to be getting worse.

"All you do is mope around!" accused Amethyst.

"And I don't cry in front of that picture!" retaliated Pearl.

"How did you know about that!" roared Amethyst.

"How many times do I have to tell both of you to-" Garnet began before being cut off.

"STOP IT!" Greg shouted and echoed around the house. This made the house silent again and made the Gems turned and gave Greg's full attention. "Look," he continued, "all of you can blame each other but one thing's for certain. We a have a young child who thinks what happened to Rose is all his fault and he can be anywhere right now. And you know, I don't blame him, you know why? Because he feels betrayed by his three caretakers he considered his family." All three of them stared at him with guilty looks on their faces. "And there's another thing," he continued, " it's been on mind for as long since I've known all or you." he paused. "Ever since we've met, all three of you wished I wasn't here. You all teased me and you all thought I'm just a human who should have mind his business, and even after Steven was born you all resented me. And it's because of this hate is causing Steven's stress and pain," he said in a blunt voice staring all three of them down. He mainly kept a sharp eye on the gem who always put him down with her salty behavior. He calmed down a little and continued, "You know why Rose decided to give up her form for Steven?" All three of them looked up.

"Why?" Pearl questioned.

"Well you see, before Steven was born, me and Rose decided to make video. It was to show Steven that even though they can't both exist at once, she would love Steven no matter what. She also said he was going to be something real extraordinary, and you know what?" he paused again. "She was right." he smiled as a small tear started to come down his face. This left all three Gems in a loss for words. It was quiet again until someone said-

"I'm sorry." Everyone looked to see who said it. It was Garnet. She stepped forward and extended her arm out. Greg smiled and accepted her handshake.

"I'm sorry too," This time from Amethyst ran up to Greg and gave him a hug. "I'm also sorry for what I did in the storage unit" she said followed with more tears."

"It's all right," said Greg. Then everyone turned to Pearl. Pearl, still sitting on the ground, slowly got up and walked up to Greg. They both looked at each other. Then Pearl jumped forwards and gave Greg a hug.

"Maybe you two we're meant to be together after all, and I'm sorry for how I treated you," she said. There we're tears in both of their eyes.

"I forgive you," Greg said returning the hug. Soon everyone joined in. Soon they released from one another looked at each other with one step forward from learning to see eye to eye. "Know what are we going to do about Steven," Greg asked.

"We need to find Steven and tell him we're sorry," Garnet said firmly.

"How are we going to find him?" Pearl asked.

Using her future vision, Garnet concentrated really hard. She thought, and thought, and thought. Eventually she soon made something out. Unfortunately, when it was clear she gasped in horror on what she saw.

"We need to go **now**!" Garnet commanded.

"What's wrong?" Amethyst asked.

" If we don't leave now we're going to lose Steven forever," Garnet said in a more distress voice.

"What?!" Pearl yelled out, "we need to hurry then."

"What about me? Is there anything I can do?" Greg asked in a concerning voice.

"Just stay here. We made Steven feel this way and we need to be the ones to apologize," Garnet called out as they ran out the door.

"Okay then," he called back.

All three gems ran down the stairs and soon made to the beach. "We can't make on foot, " Garnet said becoming more stressed out.

"How are we going get to Steven then?" Pearl asked. They looked around trying to come up with something. Then in the distance they found Lion lying down in the sand. They looked at each other and ran towards him.

"Come on Lion, we need to help Steven!" Pearl shouted. They had him at Steven because the second he heard his name he quickly got up and was ready to go. They all got on and Lion made a portal and they we're off.

"Good luck," Greg said to himself as he watched them go.

 _ **Back with Steven**_

Steven, on all fours, looked at the blade in front of him. He slowly wrapped his hand around the handle of the knife. He then slowly got back on his feet and walked back to the edge of the cliff. He then looked at the town below him, then look down and viewed his gem, what had used to be something that made him feel special, now made just reminds him on how much pain he gives to the Gems.

"Huh... they're miserable when they see me," he said with more tears coming from his eyes and was breathing heavily. "I wish there was something I could do." He then remembered the knife in his hand. He stared at it. He sighed.

"Well... I sure they'll be happy... ya... they will be a lot happier... without me." he reassured, he slowly brought the knife up to his neck. Soon the blade was now making contact with his throat, and then he took a deep breath in. He was about jerk the knife when he heard something warp behind him. He brought the knife down to see where it came from. Then he heard voices calling out-

"STEVEN!"

 **Will the Gems be able to stop Steven from throwing his life away? Find out next time.**

 **First of all, I'm sorry this took so long. It's because I've been very busy and I didn't have much time to work on this chapter so again I apologize for that.**

 **Also, I think Chapter 8 may be the last chapter, but I don't really want it to end so soon, but we'll see. Course, if you have any ideas that you want to share with me then by all means. Just leave a comment if you want to. Of course you don't have to, it's fine if you don't want to.**

 **Anyways, thank you so much for waiting so patiently. I know it's taking me longer to finish a chapter but I'll never abandon this story. So thanks again, and I'll see you in the next chapter. Bye :)**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 **Note: So I decided not to end it at Chapter 8. Unfortunately there is cost for this. Just read to find out what I mean.**

"STEVEN!"

That was what Steven heard as he turned around to see Lion and Gems come through a pink portal. He wasn't surprised really, he kind of expected this to happen. Lion stopped within a few feet away from Steven.(Maybe about 10ft) They quickly stepped down and they were about to move forward when they noticed Steven hold the knife. They ended up staring at each with the Gems shocked and didn't know how to approach this. Steven's dilemma had spiraled out of control. Now he didn't know to carry though with his deed or let the Gems talk to him. After what seemed like hour, Pearl began to step forward.

"Steven, We-" The second she started moving Steven took a step back and brought the knife back up to his throat.

"Stay Back!" he shouted, "Don't come any closer!"

Pearl immediately stopped dead in her tracks. She started to walk back slowly showing her hands up.

"Steven, please we have to talk to you," Pearl called out. Steven just looked at them with tears all over his face.

"What is there to talk about?" Steven replied. "Can't you see, I'm going to make thing right." Steven was smiling weakly as he said that. "Now when I'm gone I don't have to make you sad now. Isn't that what you want!"

The Gems didn't know how deal with this situation. They knew he would feel upset and betrayed but they didn't expect he would go to commit suicide.

"Steven, this isn't want we want," Garnet said trying to be reassuring. "We don't want to lose you!"

"That's right Steven, we're not the Crystal Gems without you," Amethyst said, trying to get involved.

"Yes, we can't lose another person we care about," Pearl added. Steven then frowned at them. The sadness then turned to anger.

"Oh, I see what's going on her!" roared Steven, "You all are here because you think I'm making a big mistake. While you guys really think that I'm the big mistake."

"No Steven, that's not true," Garnet protested.

"Well that's not what Pearl was saying," Steven added with more anger in his voice.

"Steven, no, I didn't mean-" Pearl started.

"Oh, don't give me that," Steven interrupted. "I knew you all felt this way for while, and now what has been said has now shoot me like an arrow, and I don't know if the wound will heal. Not even healing powers can mend this."

"But Steven what about Greg, Connie, and Lion," Lion made a noise after that. "What about them. Don't they matter?" Garnet continued.

"Yes, what about them?" Pearl added. She was trying to hold back her tears that were forming behind her eyes. Steven forgot about them. He thought how they would feel if he did go through with it.

 _'Now what do I do? I don't what my dad or Connie for be affected by this? Maybe I shouldn't?'_ All these questions were going through his head. Then another thought came to him.

"You do have point there," Steven began, "But I don't think they'll truly understand what I go through."

"What do you mean?" asked Amethyst. They were started to get confused. This is now starting to go downhill.

"I mean that no one will understand me. No humans or even you guys. Because I'm just a hybrid, I'm one of a kind. No one in this whole universe is like me. I'm all alone. So what's the point of going on around knowing that there's no one that truly understand my suffering." He then started to bring the knife back up to his throat.

"STEVEN!" They shouted.

"Please Steven don't do this," Pearl begged. Her eyes began fill with tears that were beginning to stream down her face.

"I'm sorry. But it's something I have to do," Steven said as he turned his back on them. "I didn't ask for any of this. I couldn't control for what happened to her." Some more tears began to cascade down his face. "When I was born, you all didn't want to look at me. You guys hated me."

"No, no, Steven, we never hated you when you came," Amethyst started, "Only Pearl." Once that was said Garnet slapped her face in frustration.

 _'You did not just say that,'_ Garnet thought.

"HEY!" Pearl was taken at back for this. "You can't pin the whole thing on me."

"Well it's true," Amethyst replied.

"Come on you two," Garnet reprimanded, "Not now."

"See!" Steven blurted out, "all of you are arguing. I bet if my Mom was here we wouldn't have all these arguing. This is just another thing I caused. And know I have to end it." He took a deep breath.

"STEVEN! NO!" Pearl quickly stepped forward to try and stop Steven before he cut himself. It seemed like everything was in slow motion. Pearl tried desperately to try and stop him. She ran as fast as she could.

But not fast enough.

She was too late.

Steven pulled the knife though his neck and he quickly shrieked in pain. He then fell backward. He was about to hit the ground until Pearl caught him just in time and then lowered him gently. At that moment Garnet, Amethyst, and Lion ran up to them. They we're just in a huge state of shock. When they reached them, they all crowded around them. Garnet didn't what to do, Amethyst was panicking, and Pearl was just balling.

"No! No! No!" was all Pearl said. She then put her hand over the wound to try and stop the bleeding. It wasn't working to well. Blood kept flowing from his throat. It was all over Steven and Pearl's clothing. Steven was still conscious, but barely. There was still tears in his eyes.

"Good bye," he said as he began to lose consciousness. "Thanks for trying. Tell Dad that I love him. And if you see Connie, tell her that..."

That was all he was able to say. Before he passed out, he can see the Gems look so distraught. Pearl was cradling him in her arms crying. Garnet and Amethyst we're crying as well. He couldn't see property, but he could have sworn he saw a small tear from Lion as well.

Then everything went black.

 **Although it may seem hopeless now, don't worry because this is** _ **not**_ **over yet.**

 **Also for clarification, Steven is not completely dead. He just passed out from blood lose.**

 **If you feel sad, or even crying, I would like to apologize for that. I actually already had the idea for it in the beginning but I was originally going to write it out because I thought it was probably going to be too depressing. So after some self debating, and some a couple of you guys said I shouldn't end this so soon, so I decided to keep it in.**

 **So don't worry, I'm not ending it like this.(Why would why?) So thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next chapter. Bye :)**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"STEVEN! PLEASE WAKE UP! NO! NO! NO! NO!" Pearl shrieked crying intensely as she brought him closer to her chest. Her hands we're drenched in Steven's blood as she kept applying pressure on his throat.

"WHAT DO WE DO?!" Amethyst shouted to Garnet. Garnet thought for a second until an idea popped in her head.

"We got to get him to a hospital! NOW!" Garnet said forcefully. "How are we going get here!" Amethyst replied getting more frantic. Then Lion growled and they all got the message in an instant.

"Quickly! Be careful with him and let's go!" Garnet commanded. Pearl and Amethyst quickly but careful lifted Steven (still breathing but unresponsive) and they all got on Lion's back and they soon left through a portal leaving behind a bloody knife on the ground.

 **At the Hospital**

It was a slow day at the Hospital. Nothing to major had occurred. It was just an ordinary day. For Connie's mom, Dr. Maheswaran, work was almost done and was starting get ready to check out and go home. Course there was still some tasks she had to do first. While she was examining some files she began to hear a commotion from the lobby.

"What's going on in there?" she said to herself. Then a nurse burst in a panic tone.

"Doctor, get over quick! It urgent!" Dr. Maheswaran quickly ran off to see what was all the commotion was. When she made it she was surprised to see three women and a pink lion in the lobby trying to get people's attention. They all looked distraught. They we're crying out _"Help"_ and " _Someone please help him."_ Then she noticed that one of them was holding a small child. Then she recognized who the child was.

 _'That kid is friends with my daughter!'_ she thought getting more concerned when she noticed there was blood all over him.

"Quick! Get me a stretcher! Stat!" She quickly made her over and soon some nurses came with a stretcher. The nurses then took Steven out of Pearl's arms and put on the stretcher and placed a oxygen mask on him. Then they rolled Steven away to the E.R. so they can tend to his gash. Pearl tried to follow them to see where they were taking him, but she was stopped by Dr. Maheswaran.

"Ma'am, please you have to stay here while we fix his wound," she said firmly.

"Absolutely not, I'm going to stay by his side," Pearl retaliated.

"Ma'am we can't help him if there's distraction in the room," Dr. Maheswaran replied. Pearl was taken aback at this.

"Distraction!" she began, "let me tell you something." Garnet then placed her hand on her shoulder.

"Pearl, go sit with Amethyst and help keep an eye on Lion." she said. They looked to see Lion staring at some people in the waiting room making them feel uncomfortable.

"But Garnet-"

"Go!" she said more forceful. Pearl then slowly walked away with her head down.

 _'Please don't leave us Steven,'_ she thought as she sat down. Then she stared at all the blood that covered her hands. _'I'm so sorry.'_

"Sorry about that," apologized Garnet.

"It's okay. It normal for people to act this way in this type of situation." Mrs. Maheswaran stated, "Don't mind me asking but you're the caretakers for Steven Universe, aren't you?" she asked.

"Yes, that's correct," Garnet replied.

 _'I thoughts so,'_ Dr. Maheswaran thought to herself.

"Now please tell me. How did this happen?" she asked. Garnet wasn't expecting to answer that. But she has to be honest with a doctor.

"He... he did it intentionally," she said nervously.

"He did it intentionally," Mrs. Maheswaran said so she was sure she heard it correctly. Garnet nodded slowly. "I see," she continued getting more concerned. "Is Greg here?" she asked. Garnet then shook her head signaling that it was a _"no"_. "Do you know any way to contact Greg so he can come here right away?"

Garnet just gave a simple, "Yes."

"All right then, just go to the front desk and you can give them more information and you can call Greg, okay" Dr. Maheswaran explained. Garnet gave an okay. "Okay, now I'm going to check on Steven's condition." She then turned around and made her way down the hall. Garnet watched her go then she walked to the front counter. As she walked over, many questions were going in her head.

 _'How did I not see this coming? Could I have prevented this? What is Greg going to say? Is Steven gonna...'_ She tried using her future vision to see if Steven pulls through but she couldn't get a clear answer. Most of them were not so good. There was only a small chance that it was going to be ok.

"Can I help you?" asked one of the Receptionist.

"Yes, can I make a phone call please?" asked Garnet sadly.

 **Back with Steven**

Steven slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a pink sky. He then closed his eyes again only open them in a heartbeat. Then he sat up to see where he was. It was pink; very, very, pink. It was sort of like his mother's room. There wasn't anything in sight.

He then slowly got himself back on his feet. He stated to walk forward. The whole place seemed endless, there wasn't anything. It was empty.

"Hello!" he shouted. No one answered. He began to walk faster. He began to feel like he was being watched. "HELLO! Is someone there?" He stopped. Clearly he wasn't getting anywhere.

"Where am I? How did I get here? The last thing I remember was that I took that knife and..."

"Steven," said a voice. He lost his train of thought. He then turned around. It was a woman, but he knew exactly who the woman was.

"Hello Steven," said the woman in a comforting voice. Steven couldn't speak. He wanted to cry. After batting himself mentally he finally said-

"Mom?"

 **(I'm just assuming Garnet knows Greg's phone number. :P)**

 **So before you go I'd like to say that I something else for guys who are reading this. If you go to the next chapter you'll see that I made a little something extra. It's a parody of the song "The Last Unicorn." from the movie of the same name.(If you don't know the movie then you can go look it up). It doesn't have any relevance to the actual plot but I just made it for a little treat for you. So again you can check it out by going to the next chapter.**

 **Also, again I'd like to thank you for the people are reading this. This story is being followed by over a 100 people and that's just incredible. I never thought it would get this well received.**

 **So enjoy the rest of your summer because mine is almost over. I'll still try to get next chapter done for you. Thanks again and I'll see you in the next chapter.**

 **Bye. :)**


	10. Something Extra

**Note: This has no relevance to the story.**

 **Hey guys! What's up? Today I'm giving you a song parody, this is a parody of "The Last Unicorn " by the movie of the same name. Some of you are wondering why a song about a unicorn. Well looks can be deceiving cause this is a fantastic song and I suggest you listen to it.**

 **I recommend you listen to the Ninja Sex Party cover of it because I think it's best suited for this.**

 **So anyways, please enjoy and I'll see you in the next one. Bye :)**

 **I don't own anything. Original Song by Jimmy Webb**

 _ **"The New Crystal Gem"**_

 _When the last leader fell_

 _To give birth to a human boy._

 _And the human was raised_

 _By the leader's votary._

 _Even though they care for the child_

 _Though they may have resent him._

 _Though they all hide their feelings_

 _Towards the new Crystal Gem._

 _When the first signs of danger_

 _All began to unravel._

 _And the whole human race_

 _Is more than they can handle._

 _And it seems that all this time_

 _The person who can save them._

 _By the power of his passion_

 _Is the new Crystal Gem._

 _I'm alive, I'm alive_

 _When the tyrant came back_

 _So to reclaim what she wanted._

 _And when the other Gems_

 _Would rather have his mother lead instead._

 _She looked in through his eyes to see_

 _To check up on her son._

 _She just could not be more prouder_

 _Of the new Crystal Gem._

 _She's Alive! She's Alive!_

 **Note: Just to clear up, at the end I was trying to show that Rose still lives in Steven and she is watching the progress he is making. I hope this clears things up.**


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 _(finally)_

 **Now "The Show Must Go On!"**

Dr. Maheswaran made it to the E.R. There was a nurse outside where Steven was having his wound being tend too.

"How is he doing?" she asked the nurse.

"We're not sure Doctor. It's pretty bad. No one's sure if he will make or not." Dr. Maheswaran heart sank, although he never particularly trusted Steven he does make her daughter happy and if she's happy then that's all that matters.

"Thanks for the information," she said. The nurse nodded and went back inside the room. Dr. Maheswaran then walked back to the lobby to see if Steven's father had arrived yet. She wasn't looking forward to tell him that his son just tried to commit suicide. Just then an intern ran up.

"Excuse me Doctor, you have a phone call."

"I'm on my way," she replied. Then she walked quickly to see who was calling. She then grabbed the phone: it was Connie.

"Mom, where are you, you're later than usual. If you're coming home then please hurry, Dad says he's making dinner." she said as she whispered that last part.

 _'Oh no,'_ she thought. How will she react that her best friend is in the hospital. She did not want her to find out.

"Sorry Connie, but something came up and I'm probably going to be here for a while."

"What happened? Is it serious?" Connie questioned.

"Y - yes," Dr. Maheswaran hesitated.

"How bad is it? I what to know," Connie said excitedly.

"Connie, it's none of your business just get ready for bed it's late."

"Please," Connie pleaded. She didn't want to lie to her daughter.

"Look Connie, I want you take stay calm, so please sit down," On the other line Connie did what she told. She didn't like where this was heading. "Now Connie, I hate to tell you that your friend, Steven, is here at the hospital."

"WHAT! Is he okay? What's wrong with him?!" she cried out.

"Now Connie, please calm down," Dr. Maheswaran said trying to calm her down.

"I'm coming over there," Connie said. She sounded like she was crying.

"No, Connie stay -" The phone went dead. That could have gone better.

 **Later**

Greg burst through the hospital door in a panic. He looked in all directions to find where the Gems were sitting at. When he spotted him he could see the worry and sorrow on their faces. All three were silent. Garnet was leaning against a wall very still. Amethyst was on the floor with her head leaning on Lion's side, with Lion lying down motionless. When Greg saw Pearl, he thought that she was involved in a murder. She was rubbing her hand that we're still covered in blood. Greg ran toward them, the Gems looked up as he got close.

"I got your call. What happened, Garnet told me to come here but she didn't say wants wrong. What is it? Is it Steven? What's wrong with him?!" Before he could continue Dr. Maheswaran came up behind Greg and got his attention.

"Excuse me, Mr. Universe," she said. Greg turned to face her, "can I see you privately." Greg agreed and they walked away, leaving the Gems alone. It was quiet again. After a while the silence was beginning to get to feel awkward.

"So what are we going to do now?" Amethyst said trying to break the silence.

"We wait and see," Garnet said quietly.

"This all my fault," Pearl said sadly.

"Don't be too hard on yourself Pearl, it's not all your fault," Amethyst said. She was trying to make her feel better. But it soon backfired.

"You know, you're right," Pearl said in a uplifting voice.

"Ya," said Amethyst. She was thinking how she actually did it.

"It's not my fault, it's **your** fault!" Pearl said as the uplifting just turned to anger.

"What! My fault!"

"Yes, if you hadn't said that when we trying stop Steven he probably would've gone through with it."

"Well it is true." This caused an argument to break out. Garnet watched as she felt everyone in the waiting room was staring at them. Soon she couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed both of them by their shirt and carried them away to the bathroom.(Luckily it was empty) . She then dropped them and Pearl and Amethyst fell to the ground.

"Can't you two go through one day without arguing!" she scolded at them.

"But-" Pearl and Amethyst said in unison.

"No buts! Can't you see all our arguing is what got us in to this mess!" Pearl and Amethyst quickly stopped talking. "Our Steven could be dying and it's because we held on to the past, and we keep wishing that we can keep that past. Steven saw this we made him feel like we don't want him." Pearl and Amethyst looked down in disgrace.

"She's right, I'm sorry for what I said Pearl," apologized Amethyst.

"I'm sorry as well," Pearl said returning Amethyst apology.

"Now when Steven recovers we are going to tell him how much he means to us, okay?" Pearl and Amethyst couldn't agree more. Then they came together for a group hug. After a few seconds that felt like hours they detached from each other and they walked out with one step forward in making things right.

 **Back with Greg**

"WHAT! What do you mean Steven cut his throat?!" Greg shouted in shock.

"Now Greg I know you're upset-" Dr. Maheswaran started.

"Why would he do such a thing?!" he interrupted. He then dropped his head on Dr. Maheswaran's desk and he then cried softly. Dr. Maheswaran then got up from her chair and walked to Greg's side and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I know this is painful to hear but we are doing the best we can. We need you to stay calm while we deal with the situation."

"How can I stay calm when I could lose my only son?!" Greg said getting angry.

"I'm really sorry," she said.

"I mean first I lose my wife, now I lose the boy that keeps me going and gives me a purpose to live!" Greg shouted as he fought back some more tears that were forming.

"Look Greg, I understand you're upset. I know if Connie did something like this I'd probably act the same way."

"Just... just why him?" he said weakly.

A little while later the Gems sat in the waiting room when they saw Greg walk slowly and sadly towards them. He stopped right in front of them with his head down. He then lift his head up to show a depressed expression on his face. Then Garnet, followed by Amethyst and Pearl, came over and they had a group hug with Lion by their side.

 **Later**

Some time later the hospital door burst open, and there was Connie running frantically. She looked in all directions until she found Mr. Universe and the Gems sitting in their seats. She ran towards them.

"I came as soon I heard! What happened?! Is Steven okay?!" she asked in a panic. Greg and the Gems stared at Connie without a clue how to explain this to her. Garnet then found to strength to get up and kneel down front of the distraught, little girl.

"Connie, I want to sit down for this," she said calmly. Once Connie took a seat Garnet then told the whole story. As the story continued Connie got more and more upset.

"What are you saying?" asked Connie as tears began to cascade down her face.

"We're saying that..." she paused. But that was all that was needed, Connie was already sobbing. Garnet pulled her in and gave her a hug to try and comfort her.

 _"Connie!"_

"Mom?!" Connie broke out of the hug and slowly ran to her mother.

"What are you doing here? How did you get here?" she asked as she kneeled down close to Connie's eye level. Connie hesitated until she found the right amount of courage to explain herself.

"I needed to know what happened to Steven and I knew Dad wouldn't let me go so... I snuck out and took a bus over here."

"WHAT!" she yelled but realized people we're beginning to stare. "How could you do this? You're father must be worried sick. You are in so must trouble."

"I'm sorry Mom," Connie said. Her head dropped looking down at the floor and closed her eyes.

Dr. Maheswaran was about to scold at her more but she stopped for a moment. She could see how sorry she was. She was beginning to understand why she snuck out. Though she still didn't like having her daughter on a bus by herself, she could see she was worried to death over Steven.

"Okay," Connie quickly brought her head back up and look at her mother giving her mother full attention. "I'll let this one slide this just once, because I see you care for him so much," Connie then nodded. "I'm going to call your father to tell him you're here. Also I'll tell him you'll spend the night or until you're ready to go home. Am I clear." she asked.

"Yes ma'am." She responded.

"Alright just try to calm down and if any news come I'll tell you." Connie, with tears still in her eyes, came forward and gave her Mom a hug and her mother hugged her back. Dr. Maheswaran then got up and left to call her husband and check on Steven. Connie then walked back to be with Greg and the Gems and took a seat while Lion sat beside her.

Seconds turned to minutes, and those minutes then became hours and there was still no news. It was almost 1:00am and everyone was getting restless. Everyone was fearing the worst. Just then Dr. Maheswaran came over with a kind of relieved look but there was something else that she had on her mind. Everyone quickly lifted their heads and waited if she had any news.

"Mom, please tell us if Steven's all right." Connie cried out.

"I do have some news," she began. Everyone quickly went the edge of their seats. The suspense was killing everyone. "Steven has just got out of surgery and is recovering." Everyone sighed in deep relief.

"So is he going to be okay?" Greg asked hoping to hear more good news.

"Well..." she paused. That's not a good sign.

"Tell us please!" Connie yelled getting worried again.

"How about I show all of you instead?" she replied. "Follow me please."

Everyone got up and did what they were told. They went through a hallway feeling like the hall going on forever. Soon they made to Steven's room. Unfortunately Lion was too big to go through the door so he had to stay in the hall. Everyone went inside while Lion sat down looking through the door. Inside, they saw Steven lying very still with his eyes closed. He had stitches that went over his wound and also had a neck brace. He had all the hospital equipment attached to him and he looked just awful. When Pearl saw Steven she immediately covered her mouth while tears began to stream down her face, the guilt was coming back. Everyone went slowly to Steven's bedside. They all gathered around watching Steven who seemed to be in a calm state.

"I'm afraid to say that Steven is in a coma over the severity of his wound." Dr. Maheswaran said.

"Is he going to wake up?" asked Greg with the news just sinking in.

"We believe he will but we just don't know when, only time will tell," she paused and watched everyone's devastated expressions. Eventually Connie couldn't take it any longer and she ran out of the room crying. Dr. Maheswaran sighed.

"Excuse me, do you all want to be alone?" she asked. She just wanted to go comfort Connie.

"Yes please," said Greg. No one took their eyes away from Steven. Dr. Maheswaran then slowly went out the door and looked at them one last time before she left the room to find her daughter. Course she bumped into Lion and it made her nervous when he looked at her with an intimidating stare.

When it was just Greg and the Gems, there was a long silence. None of them could find the courage to say anything. They we're in their own state of thoughts. Finally Amethyst decided to start a conversation to break the silence.

"Do you think he looks comfortable?" she asked hoping for someone to say something back.

"Well we can't do anything about it. We don't want to make this worse for him." This came from Garnet.

"So what do we do now?" asked Amethyst.

"I guess we just hope for the best for him," advised Greg.

 _'Don't worry Steven, I'll visit you every day,'_ he thought to himself. No one noticed but Pearl was the quietest, she hadn't said a word since they entered the room. She couldn't felt more guilty than ever. While Greg, Garnet, and Amethyst we're talking about the plan, Pearl took Steven's hand that was closest to her and held it in her hand and rub it with her thumb. At the same time small tears we're running down her face.

 _'I'm so sorry Steven. I don't know how I'll make this up to you. I really do love you. I'm so sorry,'_ she thought to herself. Of course what nobody knew was that there was still some activity going on inside the young hybrid.

 **Author's Note:**

 **So I really hope this was worth the wait. I'm not sure when the next chapter will be out, but hopeful chapter 11 won't take too long, and if something does come up I will let you know so you don't have to be worried or anything. If it's not done by 2 weeks then that's when I'll leave an update.**

 **Also just a heads up, Steven and Rose will be the main focus in the next chapter so you got that to look forward to. One more thing I'd like to mention is that this story got to over 100 reviews and that's just awesome. I always look forward to read all the comments I get from the people that has been following the story for this long, but let's not forget to reviews I get by the people that had just read this for the first time. It really feels so good to be told that what you do is good and it really touches my heart, so thanks for that. I also take constructive criticism as well so if there is something that bugs you then you can tell me and I'll keep it in mind.**

 **So thanks again for being so patient and let's hope I don't go on anymore long hiatuses. So as always, stay awesome and I'll see you in the next chapter. Bye :)**


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

When there is a time where you have something to get off your chest, you at first hide it. Soon that pressure will build until it screams, "let me out!" Then when you can't take it anymore, then that's when you talk to someone. Unfortunately in Steven's case, he thought he had no one to talk to. So all that stress consumed him until he decided to take an easy way out. That's what happens when you're under pressure. All though no one on the outside can see this, but Steven is going to talk with the person that will help him, his mother.

"Mom?" Steven said nervously. He didn't know how to approach this. Rose smiled. Then she opened her arms and immediately Steven ran towards her and he jumped into her arms with tears in his eyes. They giggled as they spun around making Steven dizzy. Eventually Rose put Steven down. At the same time Steven was so confused. Where was he? Why is his mom here? Is this a dream?

"M- Mom?" he said.

"Yes Steven," she replied.

"Am I dreaming?" he said looking around.

"What do you think this is?" she said in a calming voice. Steven didn't know. He wanted this to be real. But dream or not he was going to take advantage of this.

"I think this is real. But where am I? How are you here?"

"This is sort of our safe place."

"Safe place?" he said confused.

"That's correct."

"And where is that?" he asked. Rose didn't say anything. She crouched down to more his level. She gently raised his shirt and she pointed to his gem. Steven stared at his gem as he realized where he's actually at. "So, I'm in my gem!" Rose smiled and nodded. "Okay then. How did I get here?" He thought and then he remembered. "The knife." he murmured.

"So I am regenerating?" he asked himself quietly. Steven was quiet for moment then all of a sudden, Steven began to laugh. It was a more psychotic laugh that was quiet at first until Steven was just laughing hysterically. This left Rose puzzled.

"Steven, why are you laughing?" she asked, she beginning to laugh herself. Steven had tears in his eyes because of all the laughing.

"I can't believe it," he said aloud. "This is just wonderful. I am free. This is where I can be happy. I don't have to worry about anything anymore. As long as I'm far away from the gems I can finally enjoy myself. I don't have to feel guilty anymore because I can finally get to know you." Rose was surprised with Steven's behavior and immediately stopped laughing. His son is glad about not living his life?

"Guilty? Steven, why do want to be away from the gems?" Rose asked curiously.

Oh... they were just... getting on my nerves lately. But enough about me I'm glad I finally get to meet you." he replied trying to change the subject.

"Getting on your nerves? How are they getting on your nerves?"

"Well..." Steven said trying to make an excuse but that would mean that has to lie to his mother. "Uhm..." Steven tried hard but he just couldn't do it. He didn't want to make a bad impression on his mother for lying.

"Okay, I'll tell you."

And so Rose and Steven sat down, and Steven told the whole story. As he was telling the story Rose was couldn't believe what she was hearing. At last, Steven finished.

"And that's all," he said as tears began to slowly rundown his face.

"Oh Steven," Rose then bend down and gave Steven a comforting hug.

"I mean, I don't blame them for wanting you more. It seems like they only care for me because you told them but when they see me, they just see you. It's like nothing really matters to me."

"Steven, I can't believe you felt so guilty about this." Rose replied.

"Well ya, I mean I didn't want to die, but I sometimes wish I've never been born at all." Steven admitted. Rose never thought that in a million years that her son would harbor this level of guilt and stress especially at his age.

"Steven, don't you think you really hurt them for doing something like that? They must be devastated." said the quartz gem. Steven pondered for a moment.

"I don't know. I'm pretty sure deep down they're glad so I don't cause more pain in them."

Rose, still embracing Steven, was taken aback at Steven's accusation. She knew that Steven needs a lot of support and convincing in order to confront the demon inside him.

 **Author's Note:**

 **Hello everyone,**

 **Finally I have finished this chapter. Now if you didn't know this took a lot longer than it should have and I apologize for that, sincerely.**

 **Now this Author's Note is going to be quite long but I really want you to read this because it's really important**

 **Now awhile ago I said that I was beginning to get less motivated in writing. Also if you haven't noticed I've been under the radar for awhile. Well to honest I think it has gotten worst. Because you see I think I'm started to go into some sort of depression. I've actually been suffering from it for quite awhile now. And it is really starting to take a toll on me and I know that it will blow over eventually but for me it's not going away anytime soon. What kind of adds to the stress is that I don't like to disappoint anybody. But when I don't update for awhile I sometimes get comments or PMs asking when the next chapter is coming out and that makes me feel like I let those people down and it upsets me, a lot.**

 **So what does this mean for this story... the show must go on of course. I think Queen said it best.**

 _ **"Inside my heart is breaking, my make up maybe flaking, but my smile still stays on." - The Show Must Go on**_

 **I maybe going through this but I'm not going to let it stop me from completing this. So if any of you ever felt like this then don't let it stop you form having a good time. For me, what makes me feel better is all the nice comments I get from you and when I read them I always have a smile on my face.**

 **So if I don't publish for awhile just remember that I'm a human being as well and I go through a lot of challenges in life. But overall, thank you for your patience in this next chapter it's probably not as long as you hoped but I think this is a good way to end this chapter.**

 **So good bye for now and I'll see you in the next chapter.**

 **One last thing, even though I couldn't wish you a Merry Christmas, at least I can wish you all a Happy New Year! Cheers. :)**


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

 **Note: The song near the end is a small verse from** _ **"King of Pain"**_ **by The Police. It just fits that particular scene to me.**

 **As of now my story is out of date because of the "In Too Deep." I have not decided on incorporating my story with the cluster and Lapis or Peridot at the moment but who knows.**

 **You may now enjoy the** _ **real**_ **chapter since I've been hyping this for so long.**

What Steven didn't know, and everyone else for that matter, was that rocks age very differently than most things. To a rock, time goes by very fast cause they last for an extremely long time. While to a human, time goes by normally like nothing happened. So to Steven, time is normal to him. To him it might feel like an hour. While in the real world... it's been over a month. Over the course of that month things hadn't really changed in terms of Steven's condition in anyway.

Greg visited him regularly but still had a car wash to run. The Gems visited whenever they can. Although they wanted to visit more, there was still a world to protect. They haven't found Peridot or Malachite for that matter. They tried their best but they had a hard time staying focused because there was someone missing. When they return home, it was quiet. No one said a word. Garnet says the last word saying that we did our best and we'll try again tomorrow. But this time Amethyst spoke out.

"Actually Garnet can we take a break? Greg said he was going visit Steven and I want to ask you if we can go with him."

Garnet thought for a moment. They hadn't seen Steven if quite awhile. She looked at Pearl and she was rubbing her arm and her head was down. She looked like she didn't want to get involved in the conversation. Garnet could sense guilt not only from Pearl but in herself as well. She looked back at Amethyst and she sense guilt from her as well but she had those pleading eyes. She then kneel to Amethyst's level and put her hand on her shoulder.

"All right. We'll go tomorrow." It was a quiet response but it could still be heard.

"Thank you," Amethyst said sadly.

"Okay, now let's just rest until tomorrow," replied Garnet. No one said a word after that. One by One, each went back into their own room.

 **The Next Day**

It was a very cloudy day. I had rained hard during the night and it was very damp. A van pulled into the parking lot and found a spot. The doors opened and a man stepped out. He wore a dark sweater and long pants due to the weather. I wasn't freezing. He was carrying a guitar with him. Then from the left side of the van the door slid open and three more people came out. the one in the blue shirt was carrying flowers. They silently walked to the front entrance without saying a word.

"Good Afternoon," said the woman at the front desk.

"Afternoon," replied Greg.

"Are you all visiting someone?"

"Yes we are."

The nurse nodded and the 4 of them started to walk. Soon they arrived at their destination. Greg put his hand on the doorknob and turned it slowly. All of them walked inside and there was Steven still lying silently in his bed. He still had a face mask on him to help him breath. The group gathered around Steven's bed. Steven had looked a lot better over the course of the month. He also had gotten quite skinny but not like skin and bones. There was also a big scar where the cut had been.

"Hey Steven, were here," he said quietly. While he spoke Pearl had put the flowers down with the other stuff they brought from other visits. The was flowers, some pictures, and even Steven's ukulele.

"He looks so peaceful," Pearl said calmly. She wanted to move her fingers through Steven's hair but was too scared that's she'll mess something up. Then they heard the door open and they turned to see who it was. It was Dr. Maheswaran.

"Good Afternoon. How are we doing today?"

"We're bearing up," this came from Greg.

"Good," she was silent for a moment but spoke again, "So there hasn't been that much progress but we haven't lost hope yet."

 _'Still no progress. Just like any other day.'_ They all had the same thought.

After some awkward silence, Dr. Maheswaran turned to the Gems and spoke in a rather serious voice.

"Can I be alone with Greg for a little bit?" Pearl and Amethyst almost took offence of this but Garnet looked sternly at them.

"We'll go." The three walked slowly outside and closed the door. Once Greg and Dr. Maheswaran were alone. The doctor made a gesture so Greg can take a seat. There was a small chair near the bed.

"It's not too good is it?"

Dr. Maheswaran didn't say anything for moment. It's been hard since the accident and it certainly didn't make Connie very good.

"Do you really want to hear the truth?"

He nodded.

Silence.

"I'm going to be honest with you."

Silence.

"It's not too looking good."

Silence.

"Hope is dwindling faster each day."

More Silence.

"The other doctors wanted me to ask you..."

"NO!"

Dr. Maheswaran looked at Greg after his outburst. She kind of expected it though. Then Greg put his hands over his eyes and put his elbows on knees. Then the doctor herself walked up and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I know it's hard Greg, it's effecting Connie as well. There are nights when I can hear crying softly at night. Then me or Doug have to calm her down. It breaks my heart," she paused for a moment. "It's painful to watch kids suffer."

Without raising his head, Greg said shakily, "Can I be alone... and tell that to them as well." Knowing what he was talking about, Dr. Maheswaran slowly started to walk to the door. But before she opened the door she said one last thing.

"The other doctors just want to know if you at least think about it. You can have all the time you need." Greg still didn't move. He gave only a small nod. "Take care Greg," she said softly before exiting the room.

 **Outside the Room**

The Gems waited patiently in the hall. They would do anything to see Steven well and have his forgiveness.

Just then, the door opened and Dr. Maheswaran walked out. Pearl was first to speak.

"Can we please go back inside now?"

"Greg just wants some alone time with Steven for just a little longer."

Pearl was quite disappointed but Garnet spoke up.

"We understand," she said calmly.

"Okay I'm just going to tend to other business so hang tight." Then she walked slowly away.

 **Inside the Room**

Now Greg was all alone with Steven. There was not much for Greg to do but watch Steven's steady breathing. Then Greg began to think to himself.

 _'If only there was something I can do for you Steven.'_

 _'_

"Hey, I know something you'll enjoy Steven."

Greg then grabbed his guitar and strummed it a couple times. He tried thinking of a good song he could sing for Steven. He thought as hard as he could. But he found it hard.

 _'I got nothing.'_ he thought. He then looked outside the window. Some of the clouds had cleared up, and the sun can be seen brightly. It was almost nighttime and the sun has setting and it looked beautiful. He just stared intensely at it. He thought his eye would catch fire but it didn't. As he looked, he thought he can see a black spot on the sun. Black spots on the sun was normal, but this was different. Then out of nowhere he began to play his guitar. A song began to play in his mind and began to sing. He had a slow, soothing voice:

 _"There's a little black spot on the sun today,  
It's the same old thing as yesterday.  
_

 _There's a black hat caught in a high tree top,  
There's a flag-pole rag and the wind won't stop._

 _I have stood here before inside the pouring rain,  
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain.  
_

 _I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign,  
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain."_

He stopped strumming. The sun had already set and it was gone. Just then, the door opened and the Gems looked inside. He looked at them.

"I okay, you can come in now."

They slowly walked inside. Greg stared at them.

"They want to take him off," he finally said. The Gems stared back in disbelieve.

"WHAT! They can't do that!" Amethyst shouted.

"Don't worry they're giving me as much time as I need -"

"Then we have nothing to worry about. As long as Steven is still alive it will be all good," interrupted Pearl.

"But the thing is Pearl, Steven will be alive but he can't talk or interact with the world. He will just be that for rest of his life." He paused. "I just don't know if I want Steven to live like that." The sound of silence filled the room.

Then Greg looked outside and the moon was already out.

"I think we should go now, it's getting kind of late."

The Gems realized this and thought they go back as well. Everyone quickly went to Steven's bedside. They quietly said their goodbyes. Then they slowly walked out the door. Before Greg closed the door he said one more thing.

"Look after him Rose."

Then the door closed shut.

 **Author's Note:**

 **What's up everybody I am back, now the explanation how time works for a rock comes from a short film I saw where these rocks witness the rise and fall of society in about 5 minutes. It's a German film by the way. They witness man discover the wheel and skyscrapers being built and then saw the world crumble to pieces. To them, time goes by extremely quick while to humans it's like normal time. So if you didn't understand hopefully that explains it. And if you still don't then I apologize for that.**

 **Also I want to be clear and I don't know how hospitals work since I never needed to go to one but I tried.**

 **But enough on that, today is a special day. Today, July 19, is the One Year anniversary when "Is It Me?" was first shown to the Fan fiction world. But also the day before (July 18) was the day I signed up on this website. So I just want to say thank you so much for all the support over the year. I'm still so shocked how successful this story became and I'm glad to share this with all of you. I've had highs and I had lows but I still made sure that I can entertain you and deliver the feels. Like I have numerous times before I will never abandon this story and I want to keep that promise. I may get depression but it's getting better over time. But thank you all again for being patient and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**

 **Okay, I guess that's it for now and I hope to see you all again, in the next chapter. Bye and the Summer of Steven is really good so far. :)**


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